Signs That Your Child's Sleep Problems Are Really Anxiety

It’s not uncommon for children to experience sleep issues, whether it’s difficulty falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night, or complaining of nightmares. As parents, it can be concerning to watch your child struggle with sleep. While many sleep problems are just part of growing up, there are times when sleep disturbances are linked to anxiety. Recognizing the signs that your child's sleep troubles may be anxiety-related is important so you can address the underlying issues with empathy and support. Here are three key signs that your child’s sleep problems may be rooted in anxiety:

1. Stalling at Bedtime

Does your child frequently delay bedtime with a variety of excuses, from asking for a glass of water to needing to use the bathroom repeatedly? While stalling can sometimes be a way for children to avoid the structure of bedtime, when it becomes excessive or involves elaborate delays, it might signal anxiety. Children with anxiety may try to delay bedtime because they are afraid of the thoughts and worries that often surface when they’re left alone to fall asleep.

They might fear nightmares, the dark, or even just being alone with their own anxious thoughts. This behavior can manifest in small ways, like “I need another hug,” or more dramatic tactics, like refusing to go to bed at all. If you notice that your child is stalling at bedtime more often than usual, it could be their way of avoiding these troubling thoughts.

2. Seeking Reassurance From Parents

It’s normal for children to occasionally seek comfort or reassurance from parents before bedtime, especially after a stressful day. However, if your child is frequently seeking reassurance — asking things like, “Are you sure I’m safe?” or “Can you check the locks on the doors again?” — it may be a sign that anxiety is behind their sleep troubles.

Children with anxiety often need repeated reassurance to feel safe, and this need can intensify when they’re about to face the unknown of sleep. If your child asks for endless check-ins or repeatedly seeks reassurance about things that are unlikely to happen (such as natural disasters or burglars), this could be an indication that anxiety is interfering with their ability to relax and sleep peacefully.

3. Asking a Lot of "What If" Questions

Does your child ask a lot of “What if” questions, especially at night or around bedtime? Questions like, “What if someone breaks into the house?” or “What if I can’t fall asleep?” are classic signs of anxious thinking. Anxiety often leads children to catastrophize situations, imagining worst-case scenarios even if they’re unlikely or irrational.

If your child is constantly seeking to know what would happen in the event of something going wrong, it could be their way of trying to control their fear. These "What if" questions are often their attempt to make sense of their anxiety and feel prepared for the unknown, but they can make it even harder for them to settle down for a peaceful night’s rest.

What Can You Do?

If you notice these signs in your child’s sleep patterns, it’s important to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Addressing the anxiety that underlies sleep problems may involve a few strategies:

• Create a calming bedtime routine: Help your child wind down by introducing relaxation techniques such as reading a book, listening to calming music, or practicing deep breathing exercises before bed.

• Validate their feelings: Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel anxious but that you’re there to help them through it. Avoid dismissing their fears, as this can increase their anxiety.

• Consider seeking professional help: If your child’s anxiety seems overwhelming or persistent, it may be helpful to consult a therapist or counselor who specializes in childhood anxiety.

By identifying the signs that anxiety may be behind your child's sleep issues, you can better support them in managing their fears and fostering a more restful, peaceful sleep environment.